Boozin' and yakuzin'

Karen, I'm sad to say, is leaving Japan this week and going home to Australia. Before going home, she wanted to try all the millions of interesting-looking izakaya in Shiroishi that we'd never got round to. So we came up with the...

1st Annual Shiroishi Crew Izakaya Crawl! (a.k.a. "わかんない tour '07")

Present were yours truly, Karen, Kim, Chantelle and Wako. We also randomly bumped into Ewan halfway through.

For the first time on this blog, I'm leaping boldly into the realm of Web 2.0 by embedding some videos for you.

So, let's get started...



Pretty soon Wako finishes work and comes to join us.



While we wait an age for our dinner to arrive, Wako entertains us by trying to eat a lemon.



That was our first izakaya, Sasaki, taken care of.


Picture of frowning proprietor taken, time to move on! I'll let Wako tell you where we went next...




After that was Shimai, a very cool Korean izakaya. Here we bumped into Ewan, and the owner gave me a free can of Korean aloe drink with weird lumps in it.


Next up was Dream's Heart. This place has a certain sleazy charm. Very film noir - you could imagine a washed up journalist/private detective coming here to get drunk on cheap whisky and forget the woman who betrayed him. From the outside the place looks like a strip club, so we were relieved when we walked in and discovered it was in fact a bar.

By this time some of us were getting a little drunk and emotional...



OK, this is where the night starts to turn weird. There's a mysterious building called Latin Quarter where we've always wanted to go, and we decided this would be the night.


Given the name, I imagined it would be Shiroishi's trendiest not-refurbished-since-the-80's nightclub, filled with mirrorballs, smoke machines and desparation. But the place was actually the complete opposite - a very traditional Japanese-style nomiya. It was decorated to look like the inside of a samurai's house, and even had a fake thatched roof.

While we were in there, in walked this friendly old man wearing a traditional yukata. 'How quaint!' we thought, and we went over to say hello. He shook our hands and we took our picture with him.


Only later did we discover that he is the most dangerous man in Shiroishi. We had been drinking and bantering with the head of the local mafia! In fact, Latin Quarter is apparently the local yakuza hangout and everybody in there apart from us foreign idiots had been a gangster!

'Cool!' I thought, when I found out. Some of us, however, were not so happy. Here Chantelle is obviously the only person who's worked out what a perilous situation we're in. At this time, the rest of us were still blissfully ignorant.



Chantelle ordered a beer out of fear, even though she hates beer. Karen drank Chantelle's beer a little too quickly and is now rather merry. (Sorry the video is sideways.)



Kim, however, is more worried because she made the mistake of ordering water.



[Shiroishi scandal! STOP PRESS! See that bloke in the top left of the picture above? That's a well-known Shiroishi politician. Wako was on his campaign team during the elections earlier this year. Here we have photographic evidence of him drinking with his yakuza buddies!]

Next up, Kyo-zan. Dig that concrete windowless chic!

Not much to say about that, so let's move on to Run-run, the only place in town that was still open after 11 on a Monday night. It was tiny and looked like a portakabin. We walked in to find the cringingly stereotypical aging divorcee proprietress (on the right in the pic) getting quietly drunk on her own. She then proceeded to grope and molest both Karen and myself until we left.

The final stop was, of course, 7-11!


And so we come to the end of the 1st Annual Shiroishi Crew Izakaya Crawl. Let's hope next year is as much of an adventure!

Tsuruha Drug

A few days ago I had the chance to spend quite a long time in my local Tsuruha Drug store. This is one of several chains of 'chemist superstores' that are very popular in Japan. The existence of these stores just reinforces my view that Japan is a nation of hypochondriacs.

Wako spent ages doing something to do with makeup and so I was left to kill time by wandering around the store taking pictures with my phone. It really is quite a surreal place.

First, to give you a sense of how huge this place is. This is one aisle...


And here is just one pile of washing powder...


OK, now let's move on to the insecure and gullible women department...



Next, the mysterious or improbable products department...


Interlude: Wako standing under a giant kokeshi doll...


Next, the sexiest man in Japan. This is what all young Japanese men strive to become. I'm deadly serious.


And finally, the silliest item in the whole store. An official willy-measuring device...


The red label says, "A self-check you can do at home." The writing down the side says, "To check(confirm?) the phenomenon of night-time erections."

Usually I like to finish with a witty one-liner but I'm still reeling from that last picture so I'll just leave it there.

Whistle while you whisky

Today I visited the Nikka whisky distillery near Sendai. I came away with two exciting, possibly life-changing revelations:

1. There is such a thing as delicious Japanese whisky. This is something that I have strongly disbelieved until today. Unfortunately the delicious whisky in question costs £50 a bottle.
2. There is such a thing as delicious blended whisky. This £50 whisky is a 17-year old blend of about five whiskies from two of Nikka's distilleries, one in Sendai and one up north in Hokkaido.

The founder of the Nikka company learned his trade in Scotland, so Nikka whisky tastes a lot like Scotch. The ones I tasted today were very smoky and peaty, but on the other hand incredibly fruity - a mix that sounds unappealing but actually works very well.

Golden Week

It was truly a fun-packed Golden Week. Josh has finished his job in Thailand, so he came to visit me before embarking on his mini-tour of Asia and then returning to Blighty. And Fred also came to Japan to visit both Rieko and me. I went down to Tokyo to meet Josh at the airport. Before picking him up, I went for lunch with my friend Satoshi, whom I first met whilst traveling around Shikoku. In the evening I met Josh and we went with Fred, Rieko and chums to an Okinawan bar in Shinjuku. Here we sampled such delights as pig's ear and an Okinawan beer called Orion. It was two hours of all-you-can-drink, but unfortunately I'd booked Josh and myself into some kind of fascist hostel who locked the doors at 11 sharp, so we had to leave early. This resulted in quite a stressful evening involving drinking as much as we possibly could within an hour and then sprinting to the hostel before it closed.

The next day Josh and I got up bright and early for some hungover parasitology at the world-famous Parasite Museum in Meguro. We then checked out the observation deck in Roppongi Hills (a must-see in my book), ate monjayaki (a Tokyo delicacy) in Harajuku and crossed the world's busiest zebra crossing in Shibuya. We also had a quick look around Akihabara, where we met a sorcerer. In the evening we met up with Satoshi, who took us to a nice little nomiya that he knew near our hostel. It was nestled away in a back alley in a district known as 'the Kyoto of Tokyo' and had a lovely, relaxed atmosphere.

The next morning Josh, Fred and I took the bullet train to Kyoto. Upon arrival, we spent an alarmingly long time hanging around in the station, considering we would only be in Kyoto for about 30 hours. We finally got going and headed to Kinkaku-ji temple, famous for its golden pavilion. We then wandered through Kyoto for a while, stopping at various shrines and temples, before checking into our hostel.

Ah, the hostel. We thought the Tokyo hostel had been bad with its 11pm curfew, but this one was pretty much hell on earth. Terrifyingly camp owner, horrible rooms and decor, 10.30pm curfew, complete ban on alcohol on the premises, 10 to a room, lights out and a ban on socialising after 11pm, enforced 6.30am wakeup call, checkout by 8.30. And all for about £4 less than a business hotel would have cost. If you're ever thinking of staying at Higashiyama Youth Hostel - DON'T!

After checking into our hellhole we went to meet Kurumi for drinks in Gion. I'd met her a few times in London and she was good friends with Fred. We had some brief fun with her and her friend before heading back to the hostel in time for curfew. The crazy camp guy was locking the door as we got back and he considered for a good few seconds about whether to let us in or not. Unfortunately, he did.

The next day we saw some more temples, including Kiyomizu-dera, and in the evening we caught the shinkansen all the way up to Shiroishi. Fred and Rieko caught the night bus and joined us in Shiroishi horribly early the next morning. That was the day of Shiroishi's spring festival, where we saw all kinds of exciting Japanesey stuff. We watched Chantelle and Karen's taiko drumming group perform. In the evening we went to Ogawara, about 15 mins away, for bowling and then yakiniku at my favourite restaurant, Blusta. We ordered millions of plates of meat, rice, salads, chips, sushi, a few beers, etc. and it all came to under £10 a head! I love Blusta!

The next day we went to Matsushima, where we had a boat ride around the many islands for which the town is famous. Hundreds of seagulls followed the boat and brave Japanese people let them eat special seagull food right out of their hands. Could easily have lost a finger! We also saw some mysterious caves and a waxwork museum about Masamune Date. He's the local hero, but I'm not quite sure why. He seemed to be a mediocre fighter and bureaucratic apologist, but you can't fault his irrigation policies.

That night we stayed at Suzuki-ya, a hotel in Kamasaki onsen. We stayed in an amazing room, ate the best Japanese meal I've ever had, and of course the baths were great. It was Fred and Josh's first ever onsen experience, but once the initial embarrassment passed I think they had fun!

On Saturday we went to see Wako play a gig at Heartland, a dairy farm near Mount Zao. The day was unbelievably wholesome, with children everywhere, petting of goats and playing of catch. But we made up for it in the evening with the debauchery of Wako's birthday party!

The next day Fred and Rieko headed back to Tokyo and Josh flew back to Thailand, leaving me all alone and absolutely exhausted!

Right, time to start planning Amy's visit...

Shikoku

Wow, has it really been three months since my last post? Umm, sorry. I was internet-less for 6 weeks, but that's not much of an excuse, is it? Anyway, last week I went on holiday with my friend Rosalee. We travelled around Shikoku, the smallest of the four main islands of Japan. It was quite fun-packed and we managed to do so much stuff that I can't be bothered to write about it all. But... in a moment of boredom whilst waiting for a train, one of us suggested writing a 'holiday song'. We started brainstorming by writing down anything noteworthy that happened to us during the holiday, but the brainstorm soon spiralled out of control and swelled to epic proportions. Here it is in full:

Combini run
Synchroswim
Banjo
Monkey
Jaw action
Epic hotel (search)
Myth of the toucan
Toucan play at that game
Please take the orange elevator
Smokey bastard:
- Fire extinguisher in the ashtray
- Ashtray in the toilet
Welcome back to the smoking toucan
Rejection!
- hotel
- tourist info
- ticket booth
- restaurant
Premature bus disembarkation
Pyjamas & heels
Gorge
Vine bridge
Yoshida-sempai
Mindscratching
Eric Clapton
Interrogations
Sign-reading syndrome
Japanese giggles
Money haemorrhage
No time! No time!
White Knight, Ph.D
QR codes
Cricket
Whirlpools
Bridges
Isambard Kingdom Brunel
Had to kill a chicken
Laid a hard-boiled egg
I saw the sign
I saw the jaw action
The eagle has landed
Angry cyclist of loneliness
"I feel like my life is in peril"
The spectacular time piece
Attitude gran
A step too far on the road to enlightenment
Nature trails
Ruining a couple's marriage
Crackheads
Ramen couple in the jungle
Fornicating frogs
Elephantine penal pendulum [This one is just too disturbing, so it needs some explanation. In the Richard Dawkins book I was reading, there was a passage about elephant penises acting as non-Newtonian pendula]
Shochu drunk proper
Trip to the airport
More bridges - symmetry
Rain
Got wet and smelly
Turntable
Deri
Urban onsen hipsters
Dovetail delights
dokodemo Bill
Siren spectators
Minty mouth
Emperor's tatamied toilet
Ultimate bath
Marshmallow tranny teaches terrible English
Tower of vegetabable
Ace of Base
"Very good jarou!"
Temples before breakfast
Bone shock
Esoteric rave on an empty stomach
Sent speechless by the god of war
Tunnel of Terror
Velvet stoner paradise
Buddha was a stoner
Mangy mutts
Combini cage
Corned tea
The unfortunate son
A run-in with rum
O.J. Simpson
Race relations
Normalcy regained (momentarily)
Big Ben
Buddhas in peril
Temples and tunnels
Word power
Crazy about wine
Morning of culture at a student rate
Cat in the sky
"It's all hazy"
Hobo holiday
Takamatsuyama
Japanese dinner - close call
Drinking in the park - hanaminai
The ultimate Lawson
"I don't want to drink it, but I have to" - giri drinking
Trash inspector
R's revisited
Optical fibre
Filthy nuggets

So, there you have it. My holiday in a nutshell. I'll stick some pictures on Picasa, so you can try and match the pictures with the brainstorm!

Thailand

Sorry it's been a while. Been busy! Anyway, I went to visit Josh in Thailand for Christmas and stayed with him for about 10 days. There are lots of pictures in my Picasa web album (link on the right hand side of this page). Throughout the holiday, I kept a brief log, which I shall now transcribe for your delectation. I'll add explanatory comments in italics.

22nd: Arrived. Slept.

23rd:

am - Chatuchak w/end market [This place was absolutely massive, and densely packed with hundreds of stalls selling all kinds of crazy stuff.]

pm - Grand Palace, Wat Phra Kaeo [the most famous temple in the country. Spectacular] and Wat Pho [famous for its absolutely massive, golden, reclining buddha statue. I forget how big it was, so let's say 500m]

eve - Night bazaar, towers of Chang w/ Phil, Rob and Ben [friends of Josh. Chang is a drink to be feared. All Thai beer is very strong, but this is the strongest (7%) and, worryingly, the cheapest. Drink just one and you'll feel strangely suicidal the next day. Not a hangover, something different that I've never experienced before. A Thai person told me it was because Chang contains formaldehyde. During the holiday the phrases 'Chang fiend', 'Chang frenzy' and 'Chang attack' were coined.]


24th - Went to Ko Samet [a tiny tropical island where we spent a couple of days on the beach]. Pimms + Chang! First ever backpacker [Backpacker was a fiendishly complicated travel-based card game that Josh got for Christmas. I never won a single game. It was the Ashes of card games]. Met Reilly [In our villa we found an amazing book called 'Area 7' by Matthew Reilly, an author who describes his own work as 'airport fiction'. Possibly the worst book I've ever read, but rip-roaring stuff indeed. On my last day I managed to find the prequel, 'Ice Station', and am looking forward to reading it.]


25th - Beach, explore, kayak. Chang!

26th - Came home. Met Thai people. Went to Snop [some bar]. Listened to awful pop-rock, destroyed myself on 100 Pipers whisky.


27th - Failed to go to Ayutthaya. Boat trip. Yummy lunch. Chinatown. Walked until half-dead. Japanese food for dinner. Backpacker.


28th - Almost failed again to get to Ayutthaya. Spent 2 hours looking for bus station. AA map misleading. Got to Ayutthaya in time for lunch. Visited millions of temples. When we got back to Bangkok, literally tens of thousands of crazed Thais were swarming toward bus terminal. No idea why. [Still don't know why. No, it wasn't anything to do with those bombs, as it was 3 days before that happened.] Huge burger for dinner.

29th - Went to Kanchanaburi [where the bridge on the River Kwai is]. JEATH museum - harrowing. Lunch - less harrowing. Chinese cemetery, then the British one. Museum. Soul-destroying forced march to, and across, the bridge. From there, 10 mile trek to bus station. Pizza Hut for dinner.

30th - Nice lie-in, then gift-shopping at Chupachup (Chatuchak) Market. A stroll around Lumphini park, then a tour of Jim Thompson's house [he was some guy who made stuff out of silk]. Bought Ice Station! Depressing pint at the Robin Hood [an English pub full of middle-aged western men taking their hookers for a pint for some reason], then a fancy meal at Lemongrass. Finished with Tower of Chang! Oh, and ferris wheel.

I love this country!

http://www.engadget.com/2006/12/17/japanese-train-company-to-debut-dual-use-bus-and-rail-vehicle/